Studying engineering can often epitomize the expression “when it rains, it pours”. There will always be times when even the most prepared students will enter some version of survival mode as the volume of work piles up around midterms, finals, or even a garden variety “why are all these assignments due the same day” week. Hopefully, many of you readers have been able to survive these trying times while still taking steps to safeguard your personal well-being. This can include eating regular meals, exercising, sleeping a somewhat consistent number of hours, and so on. (Side note, check out some of the other articles on the site if you feel you’re struggling in these areas, we’re here to help or point you to others who can)
Today however, we will be focusing on one element of well-being that many cut from their schedule as the going gets tough: the social element. On the surface, making the decision to remove unnecessary social activities when you have a mountain of work in front of you makes sense. It can be harder to notice the absence of social interaction when compared to other habits such as exercise, sleeping, or eating, and it’s also harder to squeeze into a small window of time (though we’ll get to ways around that later).
Instead, a lack of positive social connections and support take a lot away from your mental and emotional well-being. It can be far less noticeable in one moment than physical well- being, but no less important. Studies have shown that the health risks of isolation are comparable to those of smoking, high blood pressure and obesity. Conversely, supportive relationships and connections have been shown to reduce stress and anxiety, while increasing confidence and happiness. Social interaction links directly to not only physical health, but also to your ability to perform in a workplace or school setting.
So the question now becomes this: How do you incorporate social connection into a busy schedule, and do so properly so that you’re seeing the benefits? Everyone’s idea of social interaction is different, so this is a harder question to answer, but here is some advice to follow:
Understand who can provide you with support: While you might have multiple answers to the question “Who is someone you feel supports you?”, we can go a layer deeper than that to try and understand what makes for the best social connections in stressful times. You can typically get the best social support from:
· Someone who is available to listen;
· Someone who can give advice in a crisis;
· Someone to confide in;
· Someone who understands your problems.
The more of these boxes an individual checks, the more likely that spending time with them will help your well-being. Also worth noting: you don’t have to explicitly talk about school or other stressors if you don’t want to. Even “passive” socializing will provide health benefits, with the right people or person.
Look to the essentials for company: Depending on the amount of time you have before your next assignment or test, it’s understandable to cut some of the more purely social obligations from your calendar to make things work. However, even if you’re skipping out on a Netflix binge or a night out, there are plenty of essential actions in life that you can do with others. Maybe that’s just the bare minimum of when you pause to eat, but more likely you’ll also have errands to run, exercise to do, and walks to or from class which can easily be done with another person without allocating any extra time in your schedule.
Face time is best, but not the only option: Phone calls or voice-chats are helpful, but the science shows that face-to-face interaction is key for reducing stress and boosting your mood. If live with others you get along with, that’s a great place to start. If not, and if you feel making explicit social plans will cause too much stress down the road, try texting those you are close with to see if you’ll be in the same place at once for a meal, workout or even just a walk home. That said, phone calls and FaceTime (where possible) are still a great alternative to nothing for the super busy student.
Last but not least don’t be afraid of reaching out. Maybe you don’t want to talk to your family because you’re worried about judgement or worrying them in turn. Maybe you don’t want friends to see you struggling, or see you as a burden because you’re confiding in them. But the fact of the matter is, if you’ve identified people who fit any of the aforementioned categories or if they’re someone you genuinely feel connected to otherwise, they’re far more likely to help than not (in fact, studies show we underestimate the willingness of other to help us by half, even in strangers). If you’re especially worried about it, ask someone if they’re ok simply to listen to your concerns without the need for feedback. This way, as long as the person has enough time to be present either physically or digitally, it’s near impossible for an individual who cares about you to refuse.
